


I Watched You Die

by m00nie



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2020-12-21 12:17:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21074771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/m00nie/pseuds/m00nie
Summary: Raph deals with death. Somewhat. At least he's trying to.





	I Watched You Die

**Author's Note:**

> So I just finished season four, incredibly late. These boys got trauma. Here's a quickly written drabble.

He couldn’t sleep,  _ again _ , and instead woke up screaming. Again. It didn’t matter. By now Raph knew a night like this wouldn’t hold anything but stale leftovers and another binge of shitty infomercials. Maybe if he was lucky, he’d get to see Leo hallucinating again! Or Don quietly crying in his lab! Oh! Oh! Or Mikey having night terrors, just like him! 

Fucking perfect. Life was fucking perfect. 

Somehow, Raph ended up kneeling in front of his father’s shrine. He found himself talking to it.

“I kind of hate you, y’know.”

He didn’t know what he was doing.

“Like, I know you liked Leo the best. We all knew, except Leo. He’s a thickhead. Now he doesn’t know how to exist without you. It’s sad, he just keeps pretending you’re here. Actually, it’s kind of creepy.”

Sighing, he dug his nails into his knees. 

“I know you sort of taught us how to live without you, but you didn’t finish in time. Only Leo knows your stupid healing hands thing, only Don knows how to fix up the place if something fucks up. I just know how to get pissed off and hit things. You didn’t— you didn’t finish teaching us. You didn’t even finish with Leo. I wish you had hurried up. Now we’re fucked. Am I going to have to join Mikey on food runs instead of you, now?”

Raph heard the floor creaking. Probably Leo. Or maybe it was Mikey sleepwalking through his nightmare again. It didn’t matter. 

…fucking hell. What was  _ he _ even  _ doing _ ? 

“I don’t know. I don’t like that you died. I feel like I’m going insane, sitting here pretending like you’ll give me some advice like usual. You’re dead. Dead people don’t talk.” 

And with that, Raphael got up to heat up the shitty leftovers, and wonder if April would buy him a snuggie. 


End file.
